Little things, big moments
Reflections from Leadership Resident, Kaisal Shah, as she wraps up her time at our Harpswell leadership centers.
When I was in eighth grade, one of the main themes in my English class curriculum was the idea that “little things are big”.
We learned how seemingly small actions can amount to far greater results and impacts. Staying at the Harpswell Foundation dormitory over the last few months as a Leadership Resident (LR), this idea has proven to be true in how we support the students, what I’ve learned about creating relationships, and in the everyday moments living in this community.
When people back home ask what my job is, it’s hard to give a simple answer. An LR is part teacher, part mentor, part tutor, part friend, and part role model. We teach classes, but most of our impact comes from something else. Because we live in the dorms, we are around 24/7 for all the small questions that come up constantly.
Many students are the first in their families to go to college, and they are far from home as they navigate these new challenges. They turn to us for the practical, seemingly simple questions, which are things like: How do I message my boss? Is it normal for my high school friendships to change? How do I shop for a computer? How do I handle people dismissing my ideas in a group project? What do I do when I feel overwhelmed academically? How do I know what keywords to Google when doing research? What is this question on the homework really asking? Of course, the students have each other, but LRs provide additional support. Most of these questions are the same as those of college students in the US, and having just graduated myself, I tried to provide reassurance, advice, and a bigger picture outlook. When thinking about filling educational gaps, these littler needs are often overlooked, but they are crucial for success in college and later in life.
This work is only truly possible because of the relationships we build with the students. Relationship-building is a buzzword that gets thrown around a lot, but you deeply connect with what it means when you live it every day in the Harpswell community. This organization’s success is built upon a foundation of relationships among the students, between students and LRs, and between staff and students. Without these relationships, none of the programming or support we offer would be possible.
I arrived from the US after a 30-hour flight and was immediately thrown into the day-to-day life of a busy dorm. As with any new position or project, building trust was the first step. As much as I was learning about the students, they were also learning about me. I found that what mattered most were the little things: humor and laughter, taking pictures, sharing food, spending time together (even if it meant just sitting and listening to Khmer), braiding hair, smiling, and dancing. I quickly realized that, at our core, the students and I share many of the same core interests and needs, and we can all connect around those similarities. These connection points were especially important when I went home with a student for her aunt’s wedding for a weekend in a village where I didn’t speak the same language as most people there. No matter what language they speak or what country they come from, people can understand your energy and effort, which comes from these small actions.
As I prepare to leave the dorm, I’ve realized that it’s these little moments of life here that I want to remember most. While I’ll stay connected to everyone here online, nothing compares to living in the same place and seeing each other every day. It’s the random hugs in the middle of the day, the Khmer slang words they taught me and love when I use, the quick coffee or market outings, the fact that it can take 2 hours to walk upstairs because I got distracted talking, the walks for ice cream, the shared late-night sour mango with chili salt, and all the laughter in-between. These little things all add up to something big, and put together are what define this community.